1. |
Arkansas
02:57
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I’m never going back to Arkansas,
can’t bare to think of what I said to you.
Regret starts sinking in just like a saw,
cutting through the things I can’t undo.
Waking up to electric red alarms
and a cold, cold question mark.
The child sleeps in your strong and loving arms
through the dark.
I pass the sign that reads “Now leaving Hope”
into oblivion down twenty-nine.
You throw my note away, go on and cope.
I'll keep telling myself “It’s fine, fine, fine.”
The guilt weighs thick upon my drowsy mind
as you wake up to your son.
I never could swear a love of any kind
to anyone.
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2. |
The Back of My Mind
03:21
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I meant to write you long and heartfelt letters.
I meant to fix the creaking in this house.
I spend most nights just talking into pillows.
I spend most mornings walking into walls.
This is all I’ll ever be.
I’m aching for a kiss, I’m not afraid to mention.
I’m aching to hear footsteps that aren't mine.
I’m seeing your face in all of my possessions .
I’m seeing you in all my lucid dreams.
This is how I’ll always be.
I’m watching happy people pass my window.
I’m watching watches tick all through the day.
I’m clinging on to thoughts from twenty years ago.
You’re clinging on to the back of my mind.
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3. |
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Summertime makes heartache disappear,
at least it used to be that way,
but summer’s gone this year.
and still I see a lonely boy when I look in the mirror.
So I drink 'cause you’re not here.
I long for every set of eyes I meet.
I ward away the omens
that tell me that I need
to know that being lonely and alone are separate things.
So I wait for company.
The table turns into the friend I thought you’d be,
but the windows seem to hide the things
that I would like to see.
I even pray to heaven, but the angels all decree
home to you is not with me.
I thought I’d try to catch things as they fell,
to have a life where sorrow was nothing I could tell,
and still I live to know the day
when all on Earth is well,
but until then I’ll be waiting here.
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4. |
Pond Song
03:59
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Afternoon on empty hills again,
baking ground beneath my feet,
aching for a break from solitude
in the sprawling August heat.
Sometimes a sign of life comes echoing
across the windy plain to me,
the distant sound of laughter beckoning,
too far away for me to see.
Skim the surface of a silent pond
locked between two barren fields,
fading in the arid stillness here.
Can’t remember how it feels:
skin on skin beneath the cool of night
and the soft reprieve of stars,
searching through the singularity
for everything we called ours.
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5. |
Forever on The Road
03:34
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I’ve always known that someday
I will wake at night alone.
You say you've never found a place
you didn't soon outgrow,
but I caught you smiling sweetly when
you dreamed you were at home,
and I know you can’t bear to be
forever on the road.
You have a buried longing
that the highways can’t hold down,
and lately I’ve been trying
not to let you turn around.
I stop and let you sleep
while I soak up another town,
cause the quiet hum of solitude
is not a pretty sound.
I feel the sting of lonely winds,
the ending of the night
when guiding stars go dim
and disappear against the night.
In the midst of a swollen sun,
I see you lying there,
reminded now of why I want
to take you everywhere.
I always knew that someday
I would wake at night alone.
I knew you couldn't bear to be
forever on the road.
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6. |
Wisps and Plumes
03:52
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air heavy with red tonight,
green hills full of smoke,
cling to the olfactory,
and some vivid scene's evoked
wind rushed down the interstate,
lit her cigarette,
radio shook the car,
as loud as it could get,
'til your head almost burst
from her touch, you can't forget
her light shines from ten years ago,
her faint tobacco perfume,
blue smears the horizon,
and she fades to wisps and plumes
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7. |
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When the work is done and the railway bell
echoes down the lane
we'll be taking in the sweet grass smell
by the tracks of the 5:10 train.
In the stillness of the afternoon
a rumbling comes down the plain,
and the conversation ends too soon
to the whistle of the 5:10 train.
You and me on a patch of green,
you know I can't complain,
and we're shaking from that inch between
our shoes and the 5:10 train.
We're throwing stones against the side
of the bright graffiti stain,
and they ricochet and we hide behind
the shadow of the 5:10 train.
The treetops cradle the setting sun
and there ain't no sign of rain,
but the evening air is overrun
with the thunder of the 5:10 train.
I lose myself to the chugging sounds
as the sunlight starts to wane,
and we close our eyes as the night surrounds
you and me and the 5:10 train.
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8. |
Host
04:17
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All the boys, lonesome and plain,
clamor and crash through each other for you,
to know the body, to know the brain,
and everything between the two.
I have seen your face pass through every night,
pass through outer-space. I have seen it's light,
and the shapes it made, when I closed my eyes,
made the gloom alright.
With frightened feet and sweating brow,
they rush for you, the human flood,
all full of awful dreams of how
they might receive the flesh the blood.
But you've seen my mind every time we've kissed,
and though they've wined and dined on the eucharist,
you have held my hand. I have held the fruit.
They'll never know what they have missed.
Here I am in tones subdued,
though your sweetness touches to the core.
Pass through a crowd, too loud, too lewd.
I won't be stifled anymore.
All the boys run hot and cold
to be absolved in your loving arms,
but it's only me who they enfold.
Love without fear, decor, or charms.
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